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November 30, 2006

Parshas Vayetze 5767

Commentary by Rabbi Ephraim Nisenbaum
Jacob left his parents’ home to go to Charan where he was to meet his mother’s family and find a wife. While traveling, Jacob dreamed about a great ladder with ascending and descending angels. G-d promised him in the dream, that He would protect him throughout his travels, and that he would become a great nation.

The ladder may have represented Jacob’s life-long striving for spiritual perfection. Spiritual gains do not come quickly or easily. Rather they require a slow ascent, rung by rung. Even then, the ascent is not always smooth, but man must not be disillusioned by occasional failures, for angels also ascend and descend. Ultimately, G-d remains on top, encouraging us in our efforts.

Jacob needed this encouragement. At his uncle Laban’s house, Jacob offered to work seven years for the hand of Laban’s younger daughter, Rachel. Laban agreed, but then reneged on his promise and presented Leah, his older daughter, to Jacob as a bride. Jacob had to work another seven years for Rachel’s hand in marriage. Although he kept Leah as a wife too, Rachel was clearly his more beloved wife. When Rachel could not bear children she gave Jacob her maidservant, Bilhah, as a concubine. Subsequently Leah did the same with her servant, Zilpah. Through all these women Jacob eventually fathered twelve sons and one daughter.

Jacob stayed another six years working for Laban in order to support his growing family. Although Jacob was impeccably honest and faithful in his work, Laban tried to cheat him out of his hard earned wages. He first promised Jacob all the newly born speckled sheep. When all the newborn sheep were miraculously speckled Laban changed the terms and assigned to Jacob the ringed sheep. The newborn sheep were all ringed, and Laban again changed the terms. This deception kept repeating itself, and only through miraculous intervention was Jacob able to keep what was rightfully due him.

After twenty years, G-d instructed Jacob to return home with his large family. Jacob summoned his wives and informed them of G-d’s instructions. He waited until Laban had left town, knowing that he would try to prevent the family’s departure. When Laban learned that Jacob had left, he quickly chased after him and berated him for having acted dishonestly!

Jacob remained faithful to G-d throughout his exile, growing from his difficult experiences. Jacob serves as the role model for the Jew in exile. We must focus on our spiritual growth regardless of the challenges. We know that, ultimately, G-d will assist us.

“… for I will not forsake you until I have done what I have spoken about you ...” (Gen. 28 :15)

An obviously distressed person was waiting to see Rav Yisrael of Ruzhyn. The Rebbe’s young son asked the man, “What do you want from my father?”

The man smiled sadly and said he had many problems and was seeking the Rebbe’s blessing. Shortly afterwards, the man was called into the Rebbe’s office. When he emerged he told the Rebbe’s son, “The Rebbe said that G-d will help me.”

“But who’s going to help you until then? You should have asked my father that, too,” the young child pointed out to the man. The man did just that.

The Rebbe smiled and said, “G-d will help you until He helps, too. That is what’s meant when G-d said to Jacob, ‘I will not forsake you until I have done…’ that even before I help you I will not forsake you.” We must always place our trust in G-d.

Did You Know...

The Rabbis ordained two blessings of praise and thanksgiving to be recited on different occasions.

The blessing of Shehechiyanu is recited when one receives something that brings exceptionally great joy. Some examples might include the purchase of a new house, a new car, or an expensive suit of clothing. Similarly, when a person enjoys the first of a species of fruit in its season, he recites this blessing.

If, however, the house or car will be shared with one’s family, the blessing of Hatov U’meitiv is recited instead.

If one hasn’t seen a relative or good friend in over thirty days, nor been in any form of communication with him or her, the blessing of Shehechiyanu is also recited.

November 23, 2006

Parshas Tol'dos 5767

Commentary by Rabbi Ephraim Nisenbaum
Of the three forefathers, Isaac is discussed the least in the Torah. His nature seems to have been more reserved and introverted. His contribution to the Jewish nation was his self-sacrifice to G-d and self-discipline, as represented by his agreement to being offered as his father’s sacrifice, rather than in his relationship to his fellow man. This is also symbolized by one of Isaac’s few activities described in the Torah, his digging and re-digging of wells, implying an internal analysis of his own character, rather than reaching out to others.

Isaac was somewhat removed from his relationship with his children. In the Torah’s description of the two sons, Jacob, the younger twin, is portrayed as the more righteous one. His days were spent in the tent, in spiritual pursuit. Esau, on the other hand, is seen as a more hedonistic person, spending his time in the fields and pursuing physical pleasures. This would eventually lead him to turn his back on all that he had seen in his father’s house and live a life of wickedness.

Yet, despite their disparate natures, Isaac seemed to value Esau’s character and potential for greatness more than he did that of Jacob. Esau was able to mislead his father by asking him various questions about Jewish Law. Rebecca, however, saw through the facade and recognized the true nature of her sons. She oversaw her sons’ interaction to ensure that Jacob not be taken advantage of by Esau’s wiliness.

Even as a young man, Esau proved his scorn for the spiritual world by selling his birthright to Jacob in exchange for a pot of beans. Isaac was not aware of this sale. Many years later, Isaac wanted to give his blessings to Esau. He asked Esau to prepare a good meal for him, to be able to be in the proper frame of mind to offer his blessings.

Rebecca overheard Isaac’s plans and realized that Jacob deserved these blessings, not Esau. Even before her sons had been born, she had received the word of G-d that her younger son would more deserving of G-d’s blessings. In practice, Esau had forfeited the blessings long before by his behavior and by selling his birthright to Jacob. She encouraged Jacob to disguise himself, covering his arms and neck with goatskins to appear hairier than he really was, and pose as Esau, to receive the blessings from his father. Jacob reluctantly followed his mother’s orders. Rebecca prepared a meal for her husband and gave it to Jacob to serve Isaac.

Isaac, did not recognize Jacob, and blessed him. When Esau discovered that Jacob had deceived Isaac to receive his blessings, he vowed to take revenge. However, when Isaac learned about the circumstances leading to Jacob’s deceit, he realized his mistake and agreed that the blessings would remain with Jacob.

Jacob was forced to flee from Esau’s wrath, and would not return home for another thirty-six years.

...Rebecca took the garments of Esau, her older son... (Gen. 27:15)

The commentators note that although Jacob and Esau were already over sixty years old, their age difference of only a few minutes was noted by Rebecca. That is because a great person values every moment. People say that time is money. The Torah teaches that time is life!

The expression referring to the squandering of time as killing time is true. Wasting time is a form of murder! Rav Elchanan Wasserman, a great Rosh Yeshiva in pre-war Europe, once purchased a pair of pull-on boots instead of the more common laced boots. He explained that his time was too precious to spend lacing his boots each time he needed to put them on.

Did You Know...

The laws of Shabbos are set aside for a woman in labor. Thus as soon as she feels regular contractions, she may telephone her doctor. If possible she should try to remove the phone from the cradle in an indirect manner, in order to minimize desecration of Shabbos.

She need not travel to a closer hospital if she has greater confidence the more distant hospital. She may not do so, however, if the intention is merely to save money.

Even if there is no danger to the mother, the laws of Shabbos are also set aside to save the fetus, even within the first forty days of pregnancy, according to most authorities.

November 16, 2006

Parshas Chayei Sara 5767

Commentary by Rabbi Ephraim Nisenbaum
Sarah died at 127 years old. She retained her exalted spiritual nature and physical beauty until her very last day. Although she had lived a tumultuous life by any standard--traveling around with her husband, being abducted twice, childless until ninety years old--she maintained her dignity and trust in G-d throughout every difficulty.

Abraham wanted to bury Sarah in the Cave of Machpela, where Adam and Eve had both been buried. He approached Efron the Chittite to purchase the area from him.

Abraham was well respected among the other nations. Efron seemed to treat him quite generously, offering Abraham the cave and the surrounding field at no charge. Abraham, however, insisted on paying the full price for the area. Efron exploited Abraham, and charged him 400 silver shekels, an exorbitant sum of money, for the plot. (Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan’s "Living Torah" cites Hammurabi’s Code that an average worker’s yearly salary then was between 6-8 silver shekels.) The Rabbis see in Efron the idea that those who speak much do not usually deliver very much.

After Sarah’s passing, Abraham occupied himself with finding a suitable wife for his son, Isaac. He sent his trusted servant Eliezer to his homeland to find the woman who would be fit to fill the role as Matriarch of the Jewish people. He did not want his son to marry a Canaanite woman because he felt that the character traits of the Canaanites could not fit into the plan for the future Jewish people.

Eliezer sought a woman who would personify the trait of loving kindness. He decided to test the potential candidate by asking her for a drink of water. If she would offer water not only for him, but for his camels too, Eliezer would know that she was truly a kindhearted person. Rebecca, Abraham’s great-niece, passes Eliezer’s test. Isaac married her and saw that the blessings and the aura of holiness that had personified his mother’s home were also present in his new wife, and he was comforted from the loss of his mother.

After Isaac married, and the foundation for the future of the Jewish people was in place, Abraham remarried and had more children. The Midrash relates that he actually remarried Hagar, now called Keturah.

After a long and fruitful life Abraham passed away at 175 years old. He too was buried next to his wife, in the Cave of Machpela.

“Yitzchak was comforted on the loss of his mother...” (Gen. 24:67)

Comforting the mourner is a great mitzvah, though many people find it uncomfortable to fulfill.

Rav Matisyahu Solomon, the famed Mashgiach of Lakewood Yeshiva, is one of the busiest men around. Besides his many weekly classes and involvement in communal matters, many throughout the world also seek his counsel. He once heard about a young father who passed away. He did not know the man personally, but he decided to pay a call to the family.

The seven-year-old son was having a very difficult time dealing with his loss. Rav Solomon confided to the boy, “I lost my father when I was seven years old, too. We can have a special club, the Seven Club, if you like. You can call me whenever you need to speak to someone. Just say you’re calling from the Seven Club, and I will be available to speak to you.”

Despite his grueling schedule, Rav Solomon would give the boy as much time as he wanted to speak, helping to ease the boy’s difficulties.

Did You Know...

It is customary to cover all the mirrors during the shiva, the seven days in a house of mourning. Several reasons are offered for this tradition. One reason is to discourage personal grooming, much of which is prohibited during the shiva period. Another reason is to spare the mourner the additional pain of seeing his own grief-stricken face.

Yet another reason is that prayer services are held in the house. It is prohibited to pray in front of a mirror so that it will not appear that one is praying to an image, and in order to prevent distraction during the prayers.

November 9, 2006

Parshas Vayera 5767

Commentary by Rabbi Ephraim Nisenbaum
Our forefather Abraham was the paradigm of loving-kindness. Yet, kindness must not be practiced indiscriminately, according to one’s whims; rather it must follow the will of G-d. This, too, is learned from the life of Abraham.

Abraham’s hospitality was legendary. The Midrash describes his tent as having doors on all four sides to be able to quickly accommodate guests coming from any direction.

Three days after circumcising himself at age ninety-nine, Abraham’s main concern was to search out people who might be in need of food and lodging. Abraham was not satisfied merely assisting those who approached him. He would actively pursue opportunities to help others.

The Torah relates how when Abraham saw three simple nomads in the distance, he ran towards them to offer his hospitality. He invited them into his tent to rest a bit and to eat a little. When they followed him home, however, Abraham had a full course banquet prepared for them.

Yet as great as Abraham’s hospitality may have been, he had to contend with a society that was literally the antithesis of everything he represented. The cities of Sodom and Gomorah were infamous for their cruelty and greed. Hospitality was considered a grave offense. Charity was even worse.

Although the Sodomite conduct pained Abraham greatly, when G-d informed him that He was going to destroy Sodom, Abraham tried to bargain with G-d to save the city. He asked that the city be spared if there were only fifty righteous people to be found there. He then asked that they be spared if there were only forty, thirty, or even ten righteous people. When even ten people could not be found, Abraham understood that the city did not deserve to exist, and he stopped praying for them.

Later, when his son Ishmael was proving to be a negative influence on his son, Isaac, G-d ordered Abraham to follow the advice of his wife, Sarah, and send Ishmael away.

Likewise, when G-d ordered Abraham to offer the son for whom he had waited a hundred years, as a sacrifice on the altar, Abraham did not even argue. Only at the last moment, as he was preparing to slaughter Isaac did G-d intervene and tell him that He had only wanted to test Abraham’s trust in Him and that He had never intended for him to actually kill Isaac. Although this commandment was in direct opposition to Abraham’s kind disposition, his kindness was carefully measured according to the will of G-d and not merely the product of his disposition. This is the type of kindness that we are encouraged to emulate.

“I will fetch a morsel of bread so that you may sustain yourselves . . ..” (Gen. 18:5)

Rav Elazar Shach related an incident he was witness to. A poor person had been invited for the Shabbos meal to a prominent community member. Throughout the meal the host, who had a pleasant voice, insisted on singing all the Shabbos songs. At one point the guest complained, “When are we going to get to the next course already?”

The host looked at the poor man disgustedly and snapped, “Maybe you should show a little respect to your host!”

The hostess turned to her husband and said softly, “Shloime, did you invite the fellow for a lesson in respect, to enjoy your voice, or to eat a meal!”

“She was right,” Rav Shach remarked. “A person who wants to show kindness must remember the recipient’s needs, not his own needs.”

Did You Know...

In the Ashkenazic communities it is customary to hold a wedding ceremony outside, under the stars. This is reminiscent of G-d’s blessing to Abraham that his children should be as plentiful as the stars. Although one should not deviate from the accepted custom, some authorities permit holding the ceremony inside to avoid strife. Some people hold the ceremony inside a building, under an open skylight, which is also acceptable.

It is not necessary to hold the ceremony outside for a second marriage.

Some authorities also require the chuppa (canopy) to be made of material rather than flowers. This is reminiscent of the groom spreading his garment over his bride. For that reason the groom should formally “acquire” the canopy in order for it to be considered his own.

November 2, 2006

Parshas Lech L'cha 5767

Commentary by Rabbi Ephraim Nisenbaum
The story of the Patriarchs and the Matriarchs is really the story of the essence of the Jewish people. Each of the forefathers was a microcosm of the entire nation-to-be.

Abraham recognized G-d at an early age, on his own accord. He was mocked by the rest of society and even persecuted for his beliefs, yet he continued to share his beliefs with others. The Midrash says that Abraham was called Ha-Ivri, the Hebrew, because he was on the "eiver", the other side, of society’s beliefs. This would become the eternal role of the Jew, to spread the ideals of monotheism and its ramifications throughout the world, even when he stands alone.

Abraham and his wife Sarah had to endure ten challenges to prove and to develop their faithfulness to G-d. One of Abraham’s challenges was to uproot his family, leave his homeland, and travel to an unknown land, which would only be revealed to him later. This was to develop his complete trust in G-d, and also to allow him to make a total break from his past environments.

Shortly after reaching Canaan, a famine struck the land. This too was a challenge, to see if Abraham would doubt G-d’s ways. Abraham and Sarah were forced to leave and travel to Egypt, where the Pharaoh abducted Sarah. Later, he was called to war, risking his life, in order to save his nephew Lot, who had been taken captive. Despite all these difficulties, Abraham did not become disillusioned and maintained his faith in G-d. He sanctified G-d’s name by displaying compassion even to his antagonists.

Another one of Abraham’s trials was the mitzvah of circumcision, which was given to him at the age of ninety-nine years old. G-d made a covenant with Abraham that if he would walk perfectly in His ways, G-d would bless him with children and give him the land of Canaan for his children. G-d commanded Abraham to seal this covenant on his body through the circumcision.

This mitzvah was given for all future generations too. Every Jewish male must be circumcised, as an eternal sign between G-d and the Jewish people of His covenant with Abraham. Circumcision has remained the hallmark of the Jew, distinguishing him from the rest of the world.

“Avrom traveled... and with the souls they had made in Charan” (Gen. 12:5)

The Midrash explains that the souls Abraham had made were the people he had introduced to a single G-d.

Rav Shlomo Wolbe related that when he first came to the Mir Yeshiva, he met an older student who unexpectedly asked him, “How old do you think I am?”

Surprised, the young Shlomo Wolbe guessed around 23-24 years old.

“I am three years old today,” the student said, “It was three years ago that I became a student of Rav Yerucham Levovitz, and with that introduction to the world of Torah and Mussar (ethics), I feel that I was born all over again!”

Did You Know...

When a circumcision will take place on the eighth day, it should be as early in the morning as possible, to show endearment for the mitzvah by performing it the first possible opportunity.

If there are two circumcisions to take place, one at its proper time on the eighth day, and the second for a child whose circumcision had to be postponed, there are different opinions as to which takes precedence. Some say that the eighth-day child comes first, since it is a greater mitzvah to circumcise on the eighth day--greater to the extent that it even overrides Shabbos.

Others feel, however, that the delayed child comes first, since every moment the father unnecessarily delays the circumcision he transgresses a positive commandment, whereas giving precedence to the eight-day old child is only a preference.