Parshas Vayera 5765

Our forefather Abraham was the paradigm of loving kindness. Yet, kindness must be in accordance with the will of G-d, and not something to be practiced indiscriminately. This, too, is learned from the life of Abraham.

Abraham's hospitality was legendary. The Midrash describes his tent as having doors on all four sides to be able to quickly accommodate guests coming from any direction.

Three days after circumcising himself at age ninety-nine, Abraham's main concern was to search out people who might be in need of food and lodging. Abraham was not satisfied merely assisting those who approached him. He would actively pursue opportunities to help others.

The Torah relates how when Abraham saw three simple nomads in the distance, he ran towards them to offer his hospitality. He invited them into his tent to rest a bit and to eat a little. When they followed him home, however, Abraham had a full course banquet prepared for them.

Yet as great as Abraham's hospitality may have been, he had to contend with a society that was literally the antithesis of everything he represented. The cities of Sodom and Gomorah were infamous for their cruelty and greed. Hospitality was considered a grave offense. Charity was even worse.

Although the Sodomite conduct pained Abraham greatly, when G-d informed him that He was going to destroy Sodom, Abraham tried to bargain with G-d to save the city. He asked that the city be spared if there were only fifty righteous people to be found there. He then asked that they be spared if there were only forty, thirty, or even ten righteous people. When even ten people could not be found, Abraham understood that the city did not deserve to exist, and he stopped praying for them.

Later, when his son Ishmael was proving to be a negative influence on his son, Isaac, G-d ordered Abraham to follow the advice of his wife, Sarah, and send Ishmael away.

Likewise, when G-d ordered Abraham to offer the son for whom he had waited a hundred years, as a sacrifice on the altar, Abraham did not even argue. Only at the last moment, as he was preparing to slaughter Isaac did G-d intervene and tell him that He had only wanted to test Abraham's trust in Him and had never intended that he actually kill Isaac. Although this command was in direct opposition to Abraham's kind disposition, his kindness was carefully measured according to the will of G-d and not merely the product of his disposition. This is the type of kindness that we are engendered to emulate.

"I will fetch a morsel of bread that you may sustain yourselves. . .." (Gen. 18:5)

Mr. L. is a philanthropist in London who is well known for his hospitality. The doors to his large house are always open for wayfarers, where they are made to feel right at home. Guests will often stay there for weeks at a time without ever feeling pressured to leave. A story is told about an itinerant rabbi who had stayed at Mr. L.'s home for a week without ever meeting him, and he was concerned if he had overstayed his welcome. Seeing his host in the hallway, but not realizing who he was, the rabbi asked Mr. L. if he thought the host would mind if he stayed a little longer, "It's not a problem, Rabbi," the man replied, "I've been here for years already, and nobody has ever said a thing to me about leaving!"

Did you know ... ?

It is customary after mentioning the name of a righteous person to bless him, just like G-d blessed Abraham after mentioning his name. For this reason, if the person is still living we add "Shlita," an acronym meaning "He should live a good, long life," and if he is no longer living we add ZT"L (Zecher tzaddik l'vracha), meaning "May the memory of the righteous serve as a blessing." Even after writing an ordinary person's name it is customary to add acronyms meaning, "May he/she live," or "Until 120 years," if he/she is living, and OBM (Of Blessed Memory) if the person has passed on. Many authorities insisted that this be written, lest it be misconstrued as a curse.