Parshas Vayishlach 5766

Commentary by Rabbi Ephraim Nisenbaum

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On the way home from Laban, Jacob received word that Esau had come to meet him with an army of four hundred men. Jacob understood that Esau’s hatred had not abated over the past thirty-six years, the last time they had seen each other.

The Torah describes Jacob’s preparations for his fateful meeting with Esau. He first prepared a large a gift for Esau. He prayed to G-d, and he mobilized his camps for war. The gift was meant to appease Esau’s enmity. Jacob wanted to show that he would share his material success with Esau, and that he was not trying to usurp his brother’s blessing for his own gain.

Yet Jacob was realistic too. In the event that Esau would not be placated by the gift, Jacob realized he must prepare for war. He divided his camp into two parts. If one camp would be attacked, the other would be able to flee to safety, thereby insuring its survival.

But even after both of these precautionary measures were taken, Jacob realized that ultimate salvation was dependent upon the Al-mighty. He therefore prayed for G-d’s protection from the influences and dangers of Esau. The Midrash comments that before dealing with foreign governments, the Rabbis would take their cue from the portion and prepare these three methods too.

Before meeting with Esau, Jacob was accosted by an angel, whom he wrestled throughout the night. The Rabbis explain that the angel was actually the spiritual power behind Esau. The angel could not beat Jacob, but he was able to kick his thigh, dislocating Jacob’s bone. Before letting the angel go, Jacob asked him for a blessing. The angel informed Jacob that he would now be called “Israel”, because he vanquished an officer ("sar") of G-d.

Jacob’s actions accomplished their goal, and Esau let Jacob go in peace. The rest of the trip, however, did not proceed very smoothly. Jacob’s daughter, Dinah, was abducted and violated by the prince of Shechem. Jacob’s family was outraged by this atrocity. Two of Jacob’s sons, Simon and Levi, wiped out every male in the entire city of Shechem.

Jacob’s mother, Rebecca, died while he was still enroute on the way home. Thus, she never merited to see any of her daughters-in-law or grandchildren. The tragedy was compounded even further by the sudden death of Jacob’s wife, Rachel, in childbirth. Rachel was buried in Bethlehem.

Despite all these challenges, Jacob remained firm in his faith as he returned to Canaan and was reunited with his father.

“Jacob remained silent until (his sons) returned...” (Gen. 34:5)

Although his daughter had been abducted, Jacob did not respond impetuously, but rather waited until he first spoke the matter over with his sons.

The Tzemach Tzedek, the second Lubavitcher Rebbe, once explained how he controlled his anger. Even in trying situations, he would remind himself that anger is so destructive, one must not become angry without a valid reason. He would then check Torah sources to see if the situation warranted getting angry. Understandably, by that time there would be little cause for anger.

Did You Know...

When visiting a cemetery, if one has not been there in thirty days, he recites the blessing “Asher yatzar eschem badin”. The blessing expresses an acceptance of G-d’s will, as well as belief in the resurrection of the dead.

It is also customary to place a pebble or a piece of grass upon the grave that one visits. The reason cited for this is to honor the deceased, as it shows that others have visited and remembered the deceased.

It is customary not to visit the same grave twice in one day. One should not visit a grave on Shabbos or other Jewish holidays.