Parshas Chayei Sara 5766

Commentary by Rabbi Ephraim Nisenbaum

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Sarah died at 127 years old. Her death proved to be an additional challenge for Abraham. After all he had gone through to prove his allegiance and love for G-d, he now had to maintain discipline and dignity in the face of tragedy.

Although G-d had promised the land of Canaan to Abraham, it was not yet his. Abraham had to deal with the Hittites to purchase a burial spot for his wife in the Cave of Machpelah in Hebron. Although the Hittites offered him the cave as a gift, he insisted on buying it. He did not want to remain beholden to them. Later, they sold him the land for a tremendous amount of money.

Shortly after Sarah’s passing, Abraham occupied himself with finding a wife for his son Isaac. This was necessary to set the scene for the next stage in the development of the Jewish people. Abraham would not allow his son to marry the daughters of Canaan, because of the bad character traits that seemed to be prevalent among them, and he was afraid these traits would be passed on to his descendants. But because Isaac had been sanctified earlier, when G-d had commanded Abraham to bring him as a sacrifice, he was not allowed to leave the Land of Canaan. Like an animal sacrifice, he could not be removed from Jerusalem. Abraham therefore entrusted his servant, Eliezer, with the task of finding a wife from his own family in Aram Naharayim.

Eliezer searched for a woman of exemplary character to complement his master’s son. He decided on a test to tell if a woman was truly a kindhearted person. He would ask her to draw him some water to drink from the well. If she would draw for him and also offer to water his camels, it would prove she was truly a compassionate person and deserving of marrying Isaac. Eliezer then prayed to G-d that he be successful in fulfilling his mission.

Rebecca fulfilled Eliezer’s request and offered to water his camels and find lodging for them to sleep. Eliezer was overjoyed and presented gifts to Rebecca before even asking her father’s permission that she return with him. The wonder of finding such a generous and sensitive woman so soon after he had prayed, encouraged his faith that G-d had answered his prayers.

The Torah says that after Isaac married Rebecca and brought her to his tent, he was comforted from the loss of his mother. The Talmud explains that as long as Sarah had lived, her candles remained lit from one Shabbos to the next. There was also a blessing in her dough, and an aura of holiness hovering over her tent. When Sarah died, these symbols ceased. With Rebecca’s appearance they returned once again. Rebecca had proven to be a worthy successor to Sarah.

..do not take a wife for my son from the daughters of Canaan... (Gen. 23:3)

The commentators explain that the Canaanites had bad character, something detrimental to marriage.

A young man with an elderly widowed mother set a precondition for marriage—his wife must agree for his mother to live with them, as there was nobody else to care for her. Unfortunately, he could not find any such woman. Friends spoke to Rav Shlomo Zalmen Auerbach to convince the fellow to put his mother in a nursing home, but Rav Shlomo Zalmen refused. “I agree with the young man. Good character traits are necessary in a wife, and a wife who wouldn’t want to assist her mother-in-law lacks character.”

Eventually, the young man found a wonderful woman and they got engaged. Rav Shlomo Zalmen spoke to the fellow, and recommended he put his mother in a facility. “Now that your fiancée has proven her good character, you should know that having your mother live with you at the beginning of your marriage could cause unnecessary stress, and is not advisable.”

Did You Know...

The earliest one may pray Mincha, the afternoon prayer, is a half hour after noon. (In Halacha, "noon" means halfway through the daytime hours.) According to most opinions, it may be prayed until sunset, or a bit afterwards. In the winter, this can often prove difficult. The Rabbis teach that the reward for Mincha is thus greater than that of praying the morning and evening prayers. If one forgot to pray Mincha, after the evening prayer he may recite the Amidah a second time as compensation. Any additions inserted for the evening prayer, such as the prayer for the New Moon, should be recited in the second Amidah, too.